’cause I gotta know what made me unbeautiful.

been meaning to write this for quite some time now…

Beauty is fleeting. It’s subjective. There’s girl-pretty and guy-pretty, and then there’s the matter of specific individual tastes.

look at Juliana Ramos…she was so pretty! Imagine seeing your beautiful face in the mirror everyday, and being happy because you know that you’re blessed, and then bam…losing it all in a car accident. Yes of course at least she survived, but well.

It just goes to show how easily and quickly beauty can be lost. But what’s inside cannot be taken away.

Sometimes I wish words like ‘pretty’ and ‘ugly’ did not exist. I know I shouldn’t tear myself down so much but it’s not easy. I once wondered, if I had a disfigured face, would it make it easier to accept things as they are? Perhaps then I could go on living in peace. Nobody would comment on my looks, because it would be too sensitive a topic to bring up.

Sadly, I can’t bring myself to believe that I am truly ugly. Sure, sometimes I look in the mirror and think : ugh. gross. But everyone has their off-days. It’s just that even on days when I think I look pretty okay, I’m told that I’m not.

Everyone has a different definition of pretty.  I may find Carey Mulligan gorgeous but you may prefer Keira Knightley.

Was told recently that I was cute in a little-kid way. I said ‘cute is ugly but adorable, right? that’s sad then.’ & Carol said that ‘well cute is like not pretty but above-average’ and Major Bob said ‘yes, not a Plain Jane at least’.

not pretty, not ugly…

I’m too tired to continue. But my point is, I should stop thinking so much about beauty – for it doesn’t last forever.


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