It’s hot to feel the rush, to brush the dangerous

sometimes I get random spurts of bravery. Like when I messaged Rhydian last year at almost 2am, after tossing and turning in my bed thinking ‘what if?’. I was shaking the entire time and it felt as though I was burning up, but I felt good after that, though he never replied.

Or when I go onstage sometimes. Like the Shanghai trip back in 08, when Ting Ting and I put together a last-minute dance performance for the audience. In front of HCI guys, one of whom I kinda liked, if only because he was rather nice and all the other girls liked him.  I just went crazy for that minute or two.

Most of the time I’m afraid. But then I remember all the self-help books and inspirational quotes I’ve read, & I tell myself that I’m never gonna be famous if I’m gonna be such a chicken.

My little moments of bravery surprise me, but I’d like to think that maybe it’s in me after all. Perhaps I’m not so much of a coward as I think I am.

You never know till you try, & I’ve gotten some pretty good things out of merely trying. Experience, for one. A dictionary and course voucher…certificates of participation…just for daring to try.

yeah so that was my challenge for yesterday. (:

I realise that the more you stall it the more afraid you feel. I did hesitate for a second. Then I thought heck, it’s not gonna matter.

& now I don’t feel any different. But hey, point is, I did something that I originally didn’t dare to do. So, confidence level +1?

Nothing for today, ‘cept I do love teasing my dear friend about her (ex?)crush. haha. it’s fun.

& if my friends wish to do the same, actually, I think it’d be fine! I hardly run into the guy and he likes someone else already, so, at most he’d probably just be all o.O okayyyy….creepy, but whatever.

& yes I’m still the president of the Lonely Hearts Club/ Captain of the never-been-confessed-to ship. My supposed first mate Sharmila (though honestly she has been confessed to like thrice so she really shouldn’t be on the ship anymore) just informed me of yet another MAN OVERBOARD.

😦  just googled and saw a tee! I HAVE TO GET IT. OR AT LEAST MAKE ONE.



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