they say love is a waste of time

So, I showed my mum pictures of my latest crush, and once again she made faces and funny comments. Thing is, I feel like parents are obligated to give compliments and tell you that you deserve the best because duh, you’re their kid.

Friends, on the other hand, wished me ‘good luck’ and ‘well, maybe you’ll stand a chance, you ain’t half-bad…’ . Like I said, never enough. Either not pretty enough, or smart enough, or popular enough…but they said he was cute. So. Hah.

Today I was also advised by my vocals teacher not to start dating, since it’s a waste of time. But I don’t know, really, I think I have quite a bit of time to spare here and there.

I think my mum takes things too seriously, like just because I like the guy doesn’t mean he’ll like me back! Chances are he won’t anyway. So I mean, no need to guess where he lives to assess his family background, judge him by how much his parents earn etc…goodness me, he’s just a crush, not a prospective life partner!


But on the topic of judgment…though I know we shouldn’t, and YOU know we shouldn’t, we still do, so how exactly should we judge people? By their past? Their present? or the future?

Sometimes I still judge people by their past. I don’t mean to be elitist, but…well. Anyway, in the same vein, people judge me by the present and are unashamed of it. They don’t care who I used to be or who I could potentially be, I’m not anything to them right now and that’s how I’ll remain defined to them.

Well, I guess I shouldn’t judge people by their past. It’s like, a guy could have come from ITE and gone on to Harvard. I would date someone like that if our personalities were compatible, definitely. The end result balances everything out. But right now we’re not even a quarter through our lives.

Most importantly though, is how a guy writes and speaks, at least for me. If he speaks properly, without a strong Singaporean accent, AND spells his words right, it’s good enough. I used to think that I’d never consider anyone from a neighbourhood school (sorry, I don’t mean to offend anyone from one…) , but now that we’re all in SP people judge us by how we’re doing in SP and not how we did in whichever secondary school we were from.

omg this dude is trying to get Emma Watson to be his very first date!!! hahaha. Hope he succeeds, after all, that US Marine got Mila Kunis to accept his invitation. Maybe I should post a Youtube vid asking Rhydian to be my first date. Or make a documentary. huh. good idea.

Like I’ve said before, I guess I really wanna start dating because I don’t want to be 21 and a total idiot at it. & I guess I fear that I’ll turn 25 without ever having gone on one.

I don’t know, I just want to have a concert buddy, someone to eat at quirky little cafes with and do random things with. NOT female. I don’t want anything serious because I know that if I get into anything right now, it’s gonna have an expiry date. There’s NS for the guy. There’s uni for me. That spells THE END.

But can people control how serious relationships evolve into? I mean, with just a simple crush, I’m already distracted enough. :/ I’ve so much more to live for and do, I know, and perhaps I do deserve better, but maybe just for now, if a guy liked me, just IF one finally did, I’d just live in the moment and go for it. (well he has to pass my standards, first, of course.)

You only live once, after all.



2 thoughts on “they say love is a waste of time

  1. Steve says:

    Don’t think too much I guess. I have similar thoughts as you do. Guess we’ll just have to enjoy and process and really take one step at a time. Dwelling on stuff too much makes things worse I guess.

    • p says:

      haha you too? yeah sometimes I get all emo thinking about it and start over-analysing stuff, wondering what I’m doing wrong. it’s kinda hard, but I still believe that there’s someone for everyone out there.
      maybe it’s just not the right time, eh.
      I’ve a list of 90s’ songs ready!!! pretty pumped up about the thing. hahaha.

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