I wanted you bad, I’m so through with that.

okay does anybody get what Queen B is singing?!

First she’s all, you turned out to be the best thing I never had. Then she goes, ‘I’ll never be the best thing you never had’. And at the end, ‘I will always be the best thing you never had’. 

I’m confused. But whatever.

Giving myself 2 days to get over this new pseudo-crush. & I always thought I was a hopeless romantic, huh, I’m actually pretty practical. Emo-ing over some dude who isn’t gonna like you back isn’t worth it. It really just means he’s not right for you.

But basically, this is my little get-over-him ritual:

– stare into space and think about all the reasons why he’s not good enough

-listen to songs and sing with a pained expression (favourites, anything from Three Days Grace. No, really.)

eh that’s about it, actually. On hindsight, all my previous crushes really weren’t much to squeal over anyway. I even found my primary 5 crush on FB, and …yeah. The recent ones since I’ve entered SP and experienced co-ed school life for the first time…lemme think. Wow. I think I did have some people I noticed, but I don’t remember crushing on anyone.

Anyway, the main reasons why they weren’t right : religion, the way they wrote/spoke/dressed. So actually, I really don’t give a hoot about any of them right now.

This latest one apparently has a girlfriend, so. I’ve never liked anyone attached before, or at least not to my knowledge. But yeah off-limits, definitely!

Back to focusing on myself. Today Jazz was so awesome I really didn’t think about anything else but dancing in that moment. Sometimes my mind will drift off in class, but I swear today I was just busy enjoying myself. I wish that teacher could teach us all the time, but I have a bad feeling Nicholas will be back next week. He’s not bad, but his style is all sexy and hip-hop. 😦 I’m more into Broadway and traditional, or lyrical.

Gotta keep reminding myself of my goals. I really need a personal cheerleader, or an entire pep team. Seriously I’m such a lazy ass sometimes.

Rough lyrics I scribbled yesterday.

don’t fall in love right now, they say

you’re just wasting your life away

but I always thought it’d happen to me when I turned seventeen.

When I fall in love,

I’ll have a ‘glow’ ,

& I’ll go round smiling

for reasons no one will know.



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