Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all of the lives I’m not living.

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

A question oft-asked, but no one actually realises that the answer to that reveals our innermost desires and exposes our fears.

It was only when Maria asked Justine & I that last night, that I realised that there were lives we wanted so badly to live, but could not.

Why not, I’d asked.

Lack of talent. Circumstance. Fate? Fear. Lack of passion.

Maria would be a professional musician, I would be a celebrity , and Justine would be a professional athlete.

Is it too late for us? I don’t actually think so. It will be, if we continue being afraid.

Dad always says I spread myself too thin. I realised that I dabble in many things, but am mediocre in all of them. Jack of all trades, master of none, isn’t that how it goes?

Maybe there’s no harm in trying everything, you know, just in case you discover a love for something you’d never once thought about. Maybe it’s fine to not know exactly what it is that you want to specialise in, or are good at.

My earring is a swan. I guess I like swans because they mate for life, and they are a symbol of elegance.

That was random.

Yesterday the guy behind me in the Kino queue asked to borrow my card. I thought that would have made for a nice meet-cute, if he’d been my age.

I need a pen name, if I’m ever gonna write a bestseller. Pearl Lin just doesn’t seem right. I need something that sounds good, but I don’t want to lose the Asian-ness.   Just my Chinese name? Lin Jin? Then people would assume that I’m from China. Quite catchy though.

Ombre by Lin Jin

Ombre by Pearl Lin

Lynn Jin? Hahah. Hmmm….

Well, if you see any of the above variations on the shelves of bookshops in about 10 years, remember to buy a copy and I’ll sign it for you.

After reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, I figured that that’s probably the kind of book I’d like to write. Quirky, weird, cool. Like The Solitude of Prime Numbers.

But I’ve also got my epic heroine story to do.

& The Blood Wars (working title) with Lorri.

pfft. dreams.

there are many ways of getting to know me, honestly, if you really want to.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s