If I say it like I mean it, then maybe I’ll believe it like it’s true.

So, if you’re my FB friend, you’re probably aware that last night I changed my FB relationship status out of the blue. I was quite amused at the fact that some people thought it was for real … I’d have thought my incessant moping and lack of photos with males on FB obvious enough clues.

I wasn’t trying to get attention, or show off my pretend-bf. Rather, I was sick of the word ‘single’ and all the negative thoughts that came with it. I figured, if I can’t embrace being single, then I might as well act as though I’m in a relationship . You know how they say if you’re secretly afraid, just act confident and soon enough you’ll really BE confident?

Well I’m hoping that the same goes for this situation. I want to project that confidence that attached girls seem to have- the reassurance that they’re loved , the constant acknowledgement that they are wonderful. The glow they seem to have too, that happiness…it’s just different.

Strangely, it seems to be working a little, I feel better now, slightly hopeful that he’s on his way. But I know all it takes is a single comment from someone to send me plummeting down to the depths of self-pity yet again…got to stay strong.

I’ve also learned that I cannot control the lives of others, and that it’s more important to concentrate on my own path, instead of hoping that theirs will be crooked and fraught with danger. If I were to just sit down and curse people all day, it really wouldn’t be of much use. I still don’t know where I want to go, and what exactly I’d like to study, so I’m just going to apply to several places and see where I get into.

During ballet, I find myself really focusing on my jumps and everything…I mean, I used to space out in dance class last time, only concentrating once in a while. But now I’m truly getting lost in the music and the dance steps, and it feels amazing. I’m afraid of pointe, since I’m the only one who has never done it before, and I’m technically the weakest in class.  But I’ll cross that bridge when it comes.

Got to focus on what makes ME happy, instead of hoping that others won’t be. What makes me happy? Dancing, chatting with good friends… watching movies, learning new things.

Shall do more of that.

Met up with Estelle, and had fun, though some part of me is so envious of her number of admirers… but the new me cannot think like that anymore!!!!

Tu peux aller a l’Angleterre pour tes etudes mais tu ne peux pas travailler pour l’ONU . T’as assez l’argent mais …je suis toujours meilleure.  Merci pour me donner la motivation. (:

Might not be accurate, didn’t use accents or Googletranslate. Feel free to try translating, but I wouldn’t trust online translators if I were you….anyway it’s not important to my friends! 😀


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