Is it too much to ask for something great?

It’s almost 2014, which means it’s time to think about how 2013 has been and what is to come in the near future.

My goals for 2013 were relatively simple : to take more chances, have no regrets, and to ‘speak now’. In some sense, I guess I did try new things. I applied to summer school, got in, and spent my July in Paris. I got comfortable with going places alone, watching movies alone, and taking care of myself. I started college. It hasn’t been a smooth ride, but it’ll be alright in the end, I’m sure. 

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What do I hope for, in the coming year? I usually make the same-old resolutions that I never keep, like lose The Bulge. I am still going to try and be a little braver and to step out of my comfort zone. Baby steps. 

Academically, I’d like to get a decent CAP. Even if going on exchange is out of the question, I should get grades that I wouldn’t be ashamed of.

Physically, I’d like to be a little stronger and fitter so that I can be a better dancer. The Bulge should really go. It has overstayed its welcome. 

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I’d like to be happier, too. I keep torturing myself unnecessarily. I should learn to let go and take things easy. Stop being so extreme.

My other goals are to improve my drumming skills, get my official DALF C1 cert …stuff like that.

& yes, how could I possibly not mention love? It’s the one aspect of my life I have absolutely no control over – or do I? I’ve come to realise that if I can actively search for jobs/internships that I want and be confident that I have something to offer them, can’t it be the same when it comes to love? Aren’t we all just marketing ourselves as better candidates for potential mates? 

& I do have something to offer, I know that. All I’d like is to go on a nice first date before I turn 21, with a guy who will at least, at the end of it, have the guts to tell me that he never wants to see me again or that he’d love to. If I stay forever passive, it’s never gonna happen. & then at 22 I’m just gonna get all panicky like Shoshanna in Girls.

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A sign that things are looking up for me though : got a group interview for the Student Associate position at IRO the following Monday. If I get the job, I’ll feel like I’m on the right track again. So yes. Here’s hoping I’ll get it. 

I gave myself a deadline for becoming ‘the girl I want to be’, but I’m going to try and ease some of the pressure off myself – no one has to have everything figured out by 21. Actually, no one has it all together at 21. Even Marnie (sorry, been watching Girls) , who tries so hard to be ‘perfect’ at 24, cracks sometimes.

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I want 2014 to be a good year. I could use it. 

 

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