Got a smile shining like gold, but that smile wasn’t yours.

Sometimes life throws you little ‘movie moments’ – the setting is perfect and you know which song would be playing in the background if it were a movie scene – but you, the lead, are either alone or with the wrong person. 

I felt this the other day when the guy I was partnered up with for this NUSSU event pointed out how pretty the night sky looked. It was beautiful, and the light breeze only served to make it all the more romantic, but all I thought was : how nice it would be to look at the stars with the right person. 

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In my defense, I only signed up for the event because my dear friend convinced me to and enticed me with the prospect of getting…A FREE TEDDY! It wasn’t as bad as I thought. People were rather nice – it wasn’t like we were all judging each other as losers who couldn’t get dates on V Day (or were we?). I didn’t hit it off with anyone. Then again there were only 4 guys in the random group they assigned me to, so I suppose instant chemistry would have been too much to ask for. 

Am I picky? I don’t really think so. My friend can find quite a lot of people ‘with potential’ and talk to them easily, but I just can’t. Sometimes people are just plain boring, or they don’t get your references and attempts at humour at all. 

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While doing research for my love mod presentation, I came across this paragraph in a soci textbook which talked about how love can actually sort of be predicted and how proximity is a determining factor. It’s pretty true – most people meet their other halves in work or at school. Movie-worthy meet-cutes are few and far between. I keep telling myself that maybe I’m in the wrong place, but I don’t know that for sure. 

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Two of my friends left our Lonely Hearts Club soon after V Day last year, and within months of each other. It was unexpected and I took some time to adjust to the fact that my friends were attached, but eventually it stopped mattering. When I finally saw their guys in the flesh, I felt as though maybe this was the role I was meant to play : the weird best friend who is there to provide comic relief. You know, like in the movies : 

Boyfriend of lead  girl: And THAT is why she is still single. 

Lead girl: Don’t be so mean! Sure, she’s a little ….quirky, but she’s a nice person, okay?

Bf : As long as she isn’t going to get in the way of our personal time…  (smirks and grabs lead by waist)

Lead girl squeals as Bf starts tickling her. Weird best friend bursts in. 

WBF : HEY GUYS – oh sorry, am I interrupting something? 

Bf grits his teeth and shoots Lead girl a look. Lead girl shakes her head. 

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Just gonna be like that awkward guy back there…

Okay I’ve been watching way too many movies. But you get the point. 

There’s a reason for everything…and maybe the happy ending has been written for me, but it’ll only happen at some point in the distant future. I can only hope that the casting is perfect …but it should be. It’s my movie and I’m the lead.

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